


Two Moons

by A_to_B_and_C



Series: EXOVERSE [6]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Baekhyun is in love since day 1, ChanBaek grew up together, M/M, Mentioning to Murakami Haruki, Somehow Fluff, not blood related but like bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23733367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_to_B_and_C/pseuds/A_to_B_and_C
Summary: Baekhyun is transferring to Seoul to attend his music university and who better of his beloved almost-bro Chanyeol can accommodate him for the time being?Baekhyun really thought that after all it wouldn't be that difficult, despite the feelings...
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Series: EXOVERSE [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658077
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Two Moons

**Author's Note:**

> Again old fic from EXOVERSE.  
> Baekhyun and Chanyeol are not blood related in this fic, but they grew up together.  
> Just checked for typos and mistakes but not modified from original writing.  
> Hope you enjoy it!

Baekhyun wasn't interested in love like all the boys of his age, because he knew that his love was so deep and, in the meantime, so impossible that he would never experience something different.

Since when he was fifteen, he was in love with a distant cousin, Chanyeol, from Seoul, five years older than him.

He came for festivities and birthdays, he was always so handsome but cute and kind.

He played a lot with Baekhyun and they clicked better than with Baekhyun's own brother.

So, when some years later, Baekhyun won a big scholarship for entering his desired University in Seoul, it wasn't so strange that his mother immediately suggested him to share the apartment with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun said that there was no need to.

It would be so awkward sharing the apartment with Chanyeol, but his mother insisted so much and phoned directly Chanyeol asking him and he was already so excited that Baekhyun couldn't refuse it anymore.

So, his first year of university in March, he moved to Seoul to share his new life with the person he was in love with since almost four years.

Somehow, he was also excited about it, because living with Chanyeol was everything he ever dreamed about, even though it was risky and he had to be double sure not to show his affection in any way.

When he arrived in Seoul, Chanyeol was waiting for him at the metro station.

"Baek, long time no see!" he greeted and Baekhyun had to contain himself from checking him out from head to toes.

He was wearing a _damn_ black suit with white shirt and a slightly pulled down necktie.

His hair was styled and took Baekhyun breath away.

_Byun, breath. It's just because it was a while since last time you saw him. Don't panic_ \- he told himself, smiling and walking toward Chanyeol.

"Indeed. Thanks for having me here. My mother wouldn't quit it about halving the expenses and so on..." he said and Chanyeol smiled too, showing his cute dimples.

"Ah, no need to think about it so soon" he added heading to his car which was parked just outside the station.

Baekhyun hummed in thoughts.

"Actually, it's better to set it as soon as possible. As also house rules" he said sitting in the car and watching Chanyeol do the same.

Chanyeol nodded shortly.

"Sure, even though for the expenses your mother already settled some rules. Like I can accept from you only the half of the rent or shopping fees. For other bills she will set everything" he replied and Baekhyun raised an eyebrow.

He didn't know anything about it.

He shook his head, letting it goes but ready to settle things with his mother about that.

"And about rules... I don't know, actually. We go along pretty well and you're not the type of giving parties every now and then, so I suppose we will be fine" he added and Baekhyun hummed softly.

"No rules at all? Uh, I can become a wild teenager" he joked earning a scornful stare from Chanyeol.

"In few months you won't be a teenager anymore and don't get strange ideas. Your mother already made me a long discourse on what you can or can't do, even your dislikes and so on..." he added and Baekhyun pouted slightly.

"I know, I know... But you're no fun. I'm here only for studying, no fancy things no other things" he concluded and Chanyeol smiled softly.

"And your mother didn't tell me anything about your specialization, only that it's somehow related to my work" he added curious and Baekhyun was perplexed.

Usually his mother told everybody about how his son would be the best singer and pianist in the world.

"Arts. Especially singing and piano" he replied without so much enthusiasm and Chanyeol arched his eyebrow.

"You don't seem especially happy about it. Are there any problems?" he asked and Baekhyun sighed softly.

"It's not that. Just feel like I can't express everything like I would" he whispered brushing his hair with his fingers and pulling them back.

"Well, sometimes it happens. But if you want I can hear you and maybe give you some suggestions? After all, I'm working in the industry too" he said but Baekhyun shook his head.

"No, thanks, you don't need to worry. I'll be fine eventually" he concluded, immediately shifting to other subjects.

He asked about fastest way to reach University or where he could find useful things or the best coffee.

Chanyeol patiently explained and when they arrived home, showed him the way, giving him a brand-new pair of keys.

"Welcome home" he greeted and Baekhyun never felt warmer in his life.

University was great.

Baekhyun found great people to share his passions with, especially Jondae who was the first person to speak with him when they started their first lesson.

Tall almost as Baekhyun, he was blonde and had chestnut colored eyes. 

He was sly as a fox and always ready with some retorts. 

They both sang a lot and their music tastes were pretty similar.

When they ate outside, people stopped by for hear them sing strange variations of popular songs, in particular girls’ groups songs.

Another one who was a bit strange but Baekhyun managed to get along with was Kyungsoo.

He had black hair and eyes, and he sang too as Baekhyun and Jondae but he also studied to become an actor. 

Contrary to Jondae, Kyungsoo was particularly silent and spoke only if asked and only when it was necessary. 

He was really wise and mature and gave excellent advice in his own way. 

At the same time, life with Chanyeol was, in a word, _awkward_.

He was a super handsome music producer who wore suits almost every single day and he almost didn't have a social life outside his work.

But when he was home, he was a total nerd.

He wore Avengers t-shirts, glasses which usually weren't there, sweatpants larger than his usual size.

Baekhyun was always a bit tipsy in being around him when he was home.

Especially because, being them almost relatives, Chanyeol was particularly touchy and cuddly.

Not that Baekhyun didn't like it, just sometimes it was a bit risky.

Like that time when he got home after some late evening meeting, a bit drunk, still dressed up and he used Baekhyun laps as cushion while he was watching TV on the couch.

Baekhyun almost died, choking on air.

He was too close and his cologne was so good, smelling like cinnamon and cardamom.

"Chanyeol?" he asked perplexed and the other hummed softly.

"I'm so tired of hearing people talking nonsenses. Just let my old body relax here for a while" he added later, eyes closed, and breath relaxed.

"You are not so old, come on" Baekhyun offered, still and unmoving, unable to breath properly.

"Five years? That's our age difference, right? Five years seem to be so much right now" he murmured and Baekhyun sighed deeply.

He knew perfectly how five years was too much.

He always hated it and it was a slap every time that he could even distantly think about having _something_ with Chanyeol.

"You'll be old too in five years" he continued and Baekhyun laughed trying to ease the heaviness of the situation and in his heart.

"Who is spouting nonsense, now?" he asked back and on Chanyeol's lips appeared a small smile.

There was a long silence in which Baekhyun thought that Chanyeol fell asleep, but then his voice startled him. 

"Play something for me, Baek" he asked and Baekhyun immediately shook his head.

"You know that I won't do it..." he replied softly.

It was one of the untold rules of the house.

Chanyeol came to know that Baekhyun was very sensitive on the play/sing subject.

Especially when it was in front of him.

"Or sing?" he continued and Baekhyun was replying again when Chanyeol added: "Just a lullaby is fine. Nothing more, short is fine too" and Baekhyun sighed deeply.

"Okay. But I won't hear your drunk complaints if you don't like it" he concluded and Chanyeol opened his eyes, smile so bright it could be the sun.

"Please!" he added and Baekhyun smiled softly.

"Only if you stay there calm and quiet" he granted and Chanyeol laid down again closing his eyes.

Baekhyun inhaled shortly and then started to sing a short song that his mother always sang to him and Baekbom when they were kids.

It brought him back some memories, making him feel a bit homesick, but what startled him more was Chanyeol's reaction.

He rose up from where he was laying, staring at Baekhyun, astonished.

Baekhyun stopped immediately.

"I'm sorry?" he asked tentatively but Chanyeol shook his head.

"No, I am. I'll go sleep then. Night, Baek" he concluded fleeting the scene.

After that time, Chanyeol didn't mention singing in front of Baekhyun, even though sometimes after particularly rough days, he still came home to use Baekhyun's laps as pillows.

Usually Baekhyun didn’t invite people home, but with Jondae was another story.

He always came in when they had practical exams and Jondae wanted to eat takeout.

Strangely enough, until that moment, he didn't meet with Chanyeol.

But when they met, Jondae had the face of someone who has just understood everything in his whole life.

They were sitting on the couch practicing their voices when Chanyeol entered the house, earlier than usual.

Baekhyun stopped immediately and greeted Chanyeol.

"You're early tonight, something's up?" he asked and Chanyeol just sighed.

"Maybe a bit of flu?" he retorted sighing again.

Baekhyun raised his eyebrow, sitting up from where he was and nearing Chanyeol.

“Did you already take something?” he asked checking the strange red on his cheeks and his reddened eyes.

Chanyeol shook his head and Baekhyun hummed in thought.

“I’ll go fetching the thermometer” he said and then suddenly realizing that Jondae was there on the couch.

He gestured toward Jondae and smiled softly.

“Chanyeol, this is my classmate Jondae. Jondae, this is my cousin and roommate Chanyeol” he introduced them and Jondae nodded, nearing them.

“Baek often speak about you, nice to meet you” Jondae added and Chanyeol’s stare moved from Jondae to Baekhyun and back.

“Hope he’s saying only good things. It’s a pleasure too” he greeted and Jondae’s smile opened immediately.

“Sure is! He has always kind and positive words toward you” Jondae replied immediately making Baekhyun frown.

He went to retrieve the thermometer and came back immediately handing it to Chanyeol.

“I don’t think it’s…” he started but Baekhyun raised his eyebrow, pushing it toward Chanyeol again who took it and measured his fever.

While they were waiting for the result, Chanyeol asked them what they were doing and before Baekhyun could reply, Jondae replied.

“We have a big exam coming next week. Vocals and arpeggios, a pain” he said and Chanyeol hummed softly.

“And how is it going?” he asked briefly, watching the two and this time too, before Baekhyun, Jondae replied.

“Baek won’t have any problem. He’s so talented” he said and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Really?” Chanyeol asked again not leaving Baekhyun time to shift the discourse on something else.

“Obviously! I’m sure that you already know it since Baek sings so much” Jondae said nodding toward Baekhyun and smiling, but Chanyeol shook his head.

“Actually he never sings when he’s home” he objected and Baekhyun interjected immediately: “I do, just you’re never at home so you don’t know”, making Chanyeol frown and Jondae smirk.

“Sure, must be that the reason” Jondae added again and they were interrupted by the sound of the thermometer.

Chanyeol flinched briefly watching the result and even before he could say something, Baekhyun took it from his hands.

He sighed too.

“I’ll leave, I don’t want a flu or a sore throat before exams!” Jondae exclaimed and Baekhyun smiled softly.

“See you tomorrow” he concluded accompanying him at the door and greeting him properly.

Once they were alone, Baekhyun frowned deeply.

“Change and go to bed. I’ll prepare you something warm to eat and some medicines” he said, moving toward the kitchen but Chanyeol took his hand, stopping him.

“How come you never sing when I’m home?” he asked and Baekhyun’s eyes widen before he could shake his head.

“It’s just a coincidence and you are pretty busy with your work, Chanyeol” he said forcing a smile but Chanyeol shook his head too.

“It’s not. It’s like you forcefully avoid it when I’m home and same goes for piano” he added and Baekhyun sighed.

“Can we please not speak about this when you are sick?” he asked softly but Chanyeol shook his head.

Baekhyun sighed deeper.

“ _Fine_. Would you just change and wait for me while I cook you something? After, we will speak of whatever you want” he agreed and Chanyeol inquired him with his stare before nodding shortly and leaving his hand, moving to his room.

He prepared some porridge, his mind away trying to steel himself for whichever question Chanyeol wanted to ask him.

There were reasons why Baekhyun didn’t sing or play when Chanyeol was around.

Apart embarrassment, Baekhyun let out a lot of emotions while he sang or played, so he was sure that Chanyeol would interpret his feelings, being him so into music industry.

And it wouldn’t be necessary a genius to know _who_ was Baekhyun’s muse.

Even Jondae got that Baekhyun had a muse and that his love was troubled and not corresponded.

And maybe now that he met Chanyeol, also realized that he was exactly that muse.

How could Baekhyun explain this to Chanyeol?

He sighed deeply again before putting on a tray, the dish a glass of water, an apple and the pills.

Baekhyun went to Chanyeol’s room and found him sitting on the bed, under the blanket, head resting on the wall.

“You awake?” he asked him and Chanyeol nodded shortly.

“How is it? Are you feeling something in particular?” he enquired and Chanyeol snorted shortly.

“I’m not a kid, Baek. It’s not first time I have a cold” he replied and Baekhyun hummed giving him the tray.

“Sure, you can take care by yourself. Sorry for bothering you” he said but Chanyeol sighed deeply.

“I didn’t mean it like this. I’m grateful for what you are doing for me” he added and Baekhyun shook his head.

“You would do the same. When you finish, remember to take the pills” he replied and he was already exiting the room when Chanyeol called him back.

“You said that you would reply to my questions” he noted and Baekhyun sighed.

He didn’t want to and hoped that Chanyeol would let go the discourse, but he seemed to be pretty stubborn on it.

“Only if you eat” he concluded, sitting beside Chanyeol’s bed.

Chanyeol complied immediately, humming in appreciation.

“It’s good” he said and Baekhyun nodded.

“Glad you like it” offered as reply and Chanyeol hummed again before asking the same question he did before.

“Why you don’t sing when I’m home?”.

Baekhyun sighed shortly.

“Because I’m shy” he offered and Chanyeol snorted again.

“Try again. You’re not convincing” he noted and Baekhyun smiled softly.

Chanyeol knew him so well.

“Because I’m afraid of your judgement as a music producer?” he asked and Chanyeol shook his head.

“I can’t understand why you don’t want to talk about it? It’s something so serious that it has to remain hidden?” he enquired and Baekhyun sighed deeply.

He sat up, reaching Chanyeol’s keyboard, fingers brushing slightly the keys.

“Just a song” he whispered as a reply, sitting in front of it, hands trembling and sweating a bit.

He closed his eyes and started to play.

His fingers smoothly moved along the notes of his own piano version of _Stand by me_.

He loved that song so much that he re-edited to fit piano and his own vocal range.

It was the first song he modified to fit his style.

And the one he loved to sing every time Chanyeol returned to Seoul after visiting during vacations.

When the last note echoed in the room, Baekhyun sighed softly.

It felt at the same time heavier and lighter.

He somehow knew how his colors showed every time he played or sang.

And even if it was like a confession of his undying love, he also didn’t want Chanyeol to understand it.

When no reply came with the end of the song, he slowly turned to Chanyeol who was very awake and astonished.

“I shouldn’t…” Baekhyun started but Chanyeol shook his head.

“I understand it, Baek. Your feelings are so deep, beautiful but heart wrenching. You must really love this person” he stated and Baekhyun nodded.

“I do, yes. Even though I think it’s an impossible love” he added but Chanyeol shook his head.

“I’ll support you. Don’t think it’s impossible! Somehow you will do it” he encouraged him and Baekhyun forced a smile.

Chanyeol get perfectly his feelings but not the fact that they were for Chanyeol and him only.

But it was fine like that.

Baekhyun didn’t want him to know.

Because otherwise everything would end quickly like a soap bubble.

And as long as he could preserve whatever relation he and Chanyeol had, he would do anything to hide his own love and affection.

He only wanted to spend more time possible with him, no more no less.

“Sure. Now that you know it, will you take your pills and rest a bit?” he asked sitting up from where he was.

Chanyeol stared at him a bit perplexed but Baekhyun smiled.

“I won’t die for an unrequited love, Chanyeol. No need to make that face” he offered, smiling and Chanyeol forced a small smile too.

There was a small silence and Baekhyun was already wishing him a good rest, when Chanyeol spoke up again.

“May I ask you one last thing?” he asked shortly and Baekhyun nodded, heart almost jumping out of his chest.

He just wanted to go to his room and scream in the pillow until he hadn’t any more breath.

He was too tense and showed up too much to Chanyeol, even though he mistook the final object of Baekhyun’s feelings.

“From when you moved in, last March, you never called me _Yeollie_ once. Did I do something to upset you or make our relation any different?” he asked and Baekhyun’s eyes widen before he could shake his head.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it” he lied, voice unsteady almost a whisper.

He knew exactly why he stopped calling him like that.

It was too intimate but they gave this intimacy two different meanings.

For Chanyeol was just a childhood memory.

For Baekhyun something dear and, in the meantime, something he wanted to forget because he remembered him why he was able to call him with all that intimacy.

They were cousin, not blood related, but still Chanyeol saw him like his brother and nothing more.

“Are you sure…?” Chanyeol started but Baekhyun smiled at his best.

“Now that I have your permission, you won’t hear your real name anymore, _Yeollie_ ” he concluded and Chanyeol wanted to say something else but Baekhyun shook his head.

“This was the last question. Now rest” he ended up, picking up the empty tray, leaving only the apple and the half empty glass.

“If you need anything else, call me. I’ll be in my room” he said, exiting the room and bringing the tray in the kitchen.

He didn’t wash it, just came back to his bedroom and drop face off on the comforter, snuggling his face in.

He was so embarrassed and just wanted for a trapdoor to open under his feet and hide him forever from the world.

He checked his phone and there was at least a dozen of messages from Jondae.

The content was obvious enough.

There were also a lot of emoticons.

He sighed briefly.

Was it safe enough to tell Jondae his feelings for Chanyeol?

Jondae already understood everything and Baekhyun hadn’t any reason to hide it anymore.

So he simply replied at the texts in the most honest way he could.

Jondae replied with a lot of heart emoticons and emojis with love messages but Baekhyun could only sigh once more.

He couldn’t hope in something with Chanyeol.

For him he was only the distant cousin with whom he had to share the apartment.

No more, no less.

He sighed again and sat up, reaching his own keyboard and plugging in the headphones.

He played a bit, humming along, trying to contain himself for not disturbing Chanyeol in the other room.

After he was tired enough, he showered shortly and after checking up that Chanyeol was sleeping soundly and serenely, he returned to his room and slept too.

Things were steadier with Chanyeol from that day on.

Apart for the _Yeollie_ thing that still sometimes Baekhyun had to force himself on, they had a better relationship.

Sometimes Chanyeol tried to ask him more about his unrequited love, earning only evasive replies from Baekhyun who, instead, never refused again to sing or play when Chanyeol was around.

Sometimes Chanyeol would join him too with his guitar, or maybe giving him some suggestions on something that was modifiable or improvable.

Baekhyun was more than fine with the relationship he had with Chanyeol, if it wasn’t for Jondae that continued to insist that it was better to tell him about his feelings.

“Dae, it’s not possible. I don’t even know if he fancies men more than women” he complained and Jondae shrugged his shoulders.

“Ask him” he simply said but Baekhyun shook his head.

“How can I? I go there and simply tell him _hey Yeollie, you prefer men or women_?” he asked sighing in defeat and Jondae huffed too.

“You are making things too complicate” he added but Baekhyun shook his head.

He was in love with Chanyeol from too many years to ruin everything just now.

“I won’t risk everything, Dae. I’m fine with the way things are” he concluded.

But Baekhyun soon realized that he wasn’t exactly fine like that.

That night he went home a bit earlier, thinking that nobody would be home but when he opened the door he found Chanyeol hugging tightly another man, of his same height and age.

Baekhyun remained on the door, stunned, and it took at least two minutes to realize what he saw and exiting again closing the door, ignoring Chanyeol’s voice after him.

He ran down the stairs, not wanting to wait again for the lift and when he arrived at the next metro station, phone already in hands, calling Jondae.

When the other replied, Baekhyun’s voice were strained, cracking at the end of the short sentences.

“Dae, may you let me stay for tonight?” he asked and when Jondae accepted, asking why, Baekhyun sighed.

“I’ll tell you once I’m there?” he replied shortly.

Jondae tried to insist but without any success.

Baekhyun sighed all the way to his friend’s home.

Even though at that point he knew that Chanyeol swung his same way, he already had someone he loved.

Baekhyun had to consider it.

After all, Chanyeol was successful, handsome and kind.

Why shouldn’t he already have someone he loved?

Baekhyun felt guilty for fleeting the scene so suddenly.

He should have stayed and at least greet them.

But his heart hurt so much in that moment.

He couldn’t face Chanyeol so early.

When he exited at the right metro station, his phone rang.

It was Chanyeol.

Baekhyun unwillingly picked it up.

It wasn’t like him to make people worry about him.

“Baek? I’m sorry…” he started and Baekhyun already felt his throat tighten.

“You don’t need to be sorry, _Yeollie_. Next time I’ll send you a message before coming home” he commented and Chanyeol tried to say something again, but Baekhyun added immediately: “And I’ve no problem if you prefer men, if you are worried about it”.

Chanyeol sighed softly from the other end of the line.

“That’s great to know” he whispered and Baekhyun managed a bitter smile.

“Enjoy your evening, I’ll stay at Dae’s tonight” he concluded and even before Chanyeol could comment about it, he hung up.

Jondae was waiting for him outside his apartment complex, face worried and when he saw him arriving he shook his head, opening his arms and hugging him.

“What’s happened, Baek?” he asked him softly and Baekhyun had to try his best to not explode in a crying fit.

“It’s about Chanyeol?” Jondae asked and Baekhyun nodded shortly.

“He refused you?” he asked again but Baekhyun shook his head.

“Then what?” he enquired and Baekhyun sighed deeply before rising his head and looking him in the eyes.

“He already has someone, Dae” Baekhyun murmured and Jondae sighed too.

“Are you sure?” he commented immediately and Baekhyun nodded.

“They were hugging in the living room” he replied and Jondae pressed his lips together.

“We are hugging too, right now. You sure it wasn’t…” he started but Baekhyun shook his head.

“Chanyeol phoned me while I was coming here. He was worried because he thought I was against him loving another man” he objected and Jondae sighed.

“I’m sorry Baek. But if he already has someone, isn’t it better if you try to forget about him?” he asked and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Right now I don’t want to think about it, actually” he commented and Jondae patted slightly on his shoulder.

“You sure? Because if you want tonight Minseok, from performing arts, invited me at a party. I thought I wouldn’t go since you were coming over, but maybe we can go together?” he asked and Baekhyun hummed in thought.

He didn’t do party except few times in his life.

And he didn’t feel in the mood for them.

“I don’t feel like…” he started but Jondae shook his head.

“It will be fun, Baek. I’ll be with you and nothing strange will happen” he interrupted him and Baekhyun sighed shortly.

“I can’t go dressed like this” he added but Jondae smirked.

“I have something which could suit you pretty well” he concluded taking his hands and almost dragging him up to his apartment.

In less than two hours, Baekhyun was a completely different person.

Jondae borrowed him a pair of skinny black jeans that made him feel almost naked for how tight they were.

“Are you sure it’s legal to wear something like this?” he asked watching his reflection in the mirror and Jondae laughed.

“They suit you pretty well, Baek. Especially with that shirt” he replied, gesturing toward the mirror.

Baekhyun sighed.

The shirt was black and semi-transparent a bit open on the front.

It was a little big on Baekhyun, revealing his collarbones.

“I was asking also about this…” he started but Jondae shook his head.

“No complaints. You will dress up tonight” he interrupted him and when Baekhyun was opening his mouth to add something more, Jondae huffed.

“And yes, make up is necessary. You look so good with eyeliner” he concluded and Baekhyun sighed deeply at his reflection again.

“You won’t leave me alone, right? Because I totally don’t know what to do” he murmured and Jondae patted his shoulder again.

“No worries. Everything will be fine” he ended and Baekhyun nodded shortly.

Contrary to Jondae’s previsions, nothing went fine.

At least not in the end.

At the beginning, everything was indeed fine.

Baekhyun felt a bit awkward but then with some glasses of beer and some compliments for both women and men, he felt a little bit better.

“See? Nothing difficult” Jondae told him and Baekhyun almost convinced himself that yes, maybe he could do it too.

The problem was that Baekhyun wasn’t used to staying up so late dancing and meeting strangers.

And at eleven thirty-five he was already tired and sleepy.

He looked around for Jondae but he couldn’t find him anywhere.

So he went outside and sat on the swings that there were outside.

He felt sleepy, a bit tipsy and sufficiently cold.

And he started being whiny too.

The only thing he could think about in that moment, not being able to find Jondae, was calling Chanyeol.

He replied at the second ring, worried.

“Baek, you okay?” he asked and Baekhyun hummed shortly.

“I came here with Dae but now I’m sleepy and I cannot find him anywhere” he replied softly and he could swear that if he could lean on something he would sleep also there.

There was a rustling sound and Chanyeol moving around.

“I’m coming to pick you up, where are you?” he asked and Baekhyun started saying that it wasn’t necessary but Chanyeol insisted so Baekhyun gave him the address.

“Ten minutes and I’m there. Can you not fall asleep somewhere with too many people?” he asked and Baekhyun sighed.

“I’m not a kid, you know?” he asked back and Chanyeol sighed.

“You behave like one sometimes, though” he retorted making Baekhyun frown.

Despite the sleepiness and tiredness, he sat up pouting.

“Don’t bother coming then. I’ll come home with the metro” he said hanging up.

He went to retrieve his coat and started walking toward the metro station.

He started walking slowly and a bit staggering sometimes cause of the tipsiness and the sleepiness.

After five minutes, he realized that someone was following him and even before he could start running, he started talking him.

“You alone, beauty?” he asked and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Come on, don’t you want to enjoy our time together?” he continued and Baekhyun was tired and sleepy and he just wanted to go home.

And in that moment from the other side of the street, he heard a voice.

“Baek, you okay?” Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun raised his head in that direction.

“ _Yeollie_ ” he whined shortly and Chanyeol parked the car as it was, crossing the street toward him.

“You okay?” he murmured, worried, caressing his cheeks.

His stare hardened when he saw the man that was following Baekhyun.

“You still here? Go away” he said icy tone and shooing away the man who didn’t say anything else, going away.

Chanyeol’s stare was again on Baekhyun.

“What happened? And why are you dressed like _this_?” he asked and he was angry.

Baekhyun could tell it even though he was sleepy.

“Dae and I went to the party and…” he started but Chanyeol shook his head.

“Why you didn’t ask me? You went without telling me anything! What if something happened to you? How should I explain it to your mother?” he asked, rising his voice and Baekhyun’s eyes widen, tears forming without his consent.

“Why should I tell you? You’re not my mother. And you just care about what my parents think about you” he retorted and Chanyeol shook his head.

“It’s because I care about you! And I don’t care of what you think but seeing you dressing up like _this_ and going to some party with who knows who… it’s not like I can accept it!” he objected again and Baekhyun pushed him, distancing Chanyeol from him.

“Like this? And I’m not a kid anymore, Chanyeol! You don’t have to always control me!” he exclaimed and Chanyeol shook his head.

“It’s vulgar and your mother would have a heart attack if she saw you! And you are still a kid, seeing that you are not able to take care of yourself properly! What if I didn’t come? And if I didn’t arrive in time?” he asked and Baekhyun was agape.

He felt his cheeks catching fire.

He wanted to retort somehow but every word seemed to be unappropriated.

He felt naked and dirty and even if he had his coat on, he wanted to cover himself more.

He remained silent and when Chanyeol started speaking again he just shook his head.

“I’m sorry for everything and you are right in everything. Just bring me home, please, I’m tired” he concluded lowering his head and walking toward the car.

Chanyeol followed him silently, sitting at the driver seat.

There was a moment of silence and then Chanyeol shook his head shortly.

“I’m sorry, Baek, I didn’t have to…” he started but Baekhyun shook his head too.

“No, you were right. Sorry for dressing and acting like a slut. Now, please, would you drive us home?” he asked voice barely hearable.

Chanyeol’s eyes widened.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Baek…” he started again but Baekhyun rested his head on the windows, closing his eyes.

He was tired and he just wanted to cry.

The ride home was silent and even when they reached home, Baekhyun silently went to his room and stayed there, undressing and removing his make-up.

He felt so depressed and he knew that he didn’t have to go at that party and he didn’t have to trust Jondae’s words anymore.

At least not regarding the _everything will be fine_ thing.

He wrote him a message telling him that he went directly home, and they would see the next day for retrieving his own things.

He was crawling under his blankets when he heard a soft knock on the door.

“Baek? You awake?” Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun remained silent.

He didn’t want to talk with him.

He just wanted to sleep and forget everything that happened that night.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, but I want to say that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you or treat you bad. I was just… worried about you and when you called me telling me that you went to a party, I couldn’t think straight. I was worried that someone could do something, _anything_ to you. And when I saw what you were wearing, I…” he started but Baekhyun spoke up.

“I already said I’m sorry. I won’t dress up like that anymore. And I’m sorry for going to that party. I won’t go ever again” he concluded without exiting from his refuge under the blankets.

“It’s not like this. Baek, would you let me in and listen to me?” he asked and Baekhyun shook his head.

“No, let me sleep, Chanyeol. I’m tired, tomorrow I have lessons and today wasn’t my best day, okay? So please, _please_ , would you forget everything and just let me sleep?” he asked him back, frustrated.

There was a small silence and then Chanyeol sighed.

“Sure, sorry. Sleep well, Baek” he concluded and Baekhyun sighed too.

He didn’t hear any footstep going away from the door.

He sat up, opening the door and meeting Chanyeol still standing in front of his door.

“I’m sorry, I’m… tired. And thanks for worrying about me” he said and even before he could finish his sentence, Chanyeol hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry too” he said, voice soft and too near to Baekhyun’s ear.

Baekhyun felt his cheeks catching fire but hugged him back.

“I care about you like my own brother” Chanyeol added and Baekhyun felt his heart clench.

“I know” he managed to reply before inhaling Chanyeol’s sweet scent and pushing him slightly.

“Don’t worry. I won’t do it anymore” he said shortly and Chanyeol sighed, caressing his cheek.

“Next time we will go together so you won’t have any problem, okay?” he proposed but Baekhyun shook his head.

“You don’t need to babysit me. Don’t worry” he concluded and Chanyeol sighed.

“I’m still sorry. I didn’t know what to do and…” he started again but Baekhyun shook his head.

“Please, stop it. It’s fine and it was my fault, you don’t need to apologize anymore” he interrupted him and Chanyeol sighed shortly.

“I really didn’t mean it…” he started and Baekhyun wanted to say something more but Chanyeol shook his head.

“No, let me finish. I just want to tell you that I didn’t mean to offend you for how you were dressed. It really suited you and, uhm, you looked too beautiful for so many people to see. I just wanted to say this” he whispered and Baekhyun’s eyes went wider in astonishment.

“If you are joking…” he started but Chanyeol shook his head immediately.

“You looked gorgeous like that, really” he said offering a small smile and Baekhyun felt the blush creeping up to his cheeks.

“Thanks, I suppose?” he murmured, avoiding Chanyeol’s stare and looking at the floor.

“Well, now you can rest. I’m sorry again for everything” he concluded and Baekhyun shook again his head.

“I’m sorry too, _Yeollie_. Thanks for picking me up and arriving at the right moment” he ended up voice soft and calm.

“Good night, Baek” he greeted in the end, kissing him on the cheek and retiring in his own room.

Baekhyun felt his cheeks hotter and his fingers brushed softly and timidly were Chanyeol kissed him.

It wasn’t a dream, right?

Chanyeol really kissed him?

Then the even of that night came back to him, making him groan and, after closing the door after himself, drop face first on the bed.

_You are just a brother to him, Byun. He already has someone he loves_ – he thought groaning again in frustration.

Somehow that situation couldn’t last forever, and in few weeks or at best months he needed to move out.

But for that night Baekhyun simply feigned that the world, including Chanyeol, didn’t exist.

Baekhyun’s previsions seemed to become shorter than months just few days after that happening.

Returning home, he found again the man from before.

But this time, instead of running away he found a bit of courage and greeted him.

The man, a bit shorter than Chanyeol, blonde and attractive smiled softly toward him.

“Sehun, nice to meet you” he said and his voice was pleasantly deep.

“Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s cousin” he greeted too and Sehun smiled widely.

“So you’re Yeol’s cousin? He always speaks a lot about you” he commented and there was something in Sehun’s tone that made Baekhyun a bit wary.

Chanyeol emerged from the bathroom in that moment and Baekhyun smiled shortly toward him.

“I’m home” he said and Chanyeol smiled back.

“Welcome back, how was your day?” he asked and Baekhyun hummed, shrugging his shoulders.

“I’ll go play a bit. I have to prepare a piece for next week and I didn’t even start” Baekhyun added immediately, trying to go away and leaving those two alone.

But Chanyeol wasn’t of the same idea.

“Sehun is a music critic so maybe we can help you out?” he proposed and Sehun was already nodding and Baekhyun wanted to scream that no, he didn’t need any help, but his courteous self, nodded gesturing toward his room and saying that he was going to retrieve his keyboard.

He came back without backpack and with his sheets and keyboard. He sat in front of the small coffee table and set everything up.

He inhaled softly, closing his eyes.

“I don’t know what to play, so I’ll casually change between some pieces hoping to find something that would please my teacher next week. I’ll set recording mode so if you want to tell me things about it, please at the end” he asked them briefly.

He started hitting the keys slowly, a lento more than others tempo, similar to _Clair de lune_ , passing then to something allegro and finally a cantabile.

And while he was playing he felt it, knocking somewhere in his mind, asking him to let it free.

It was again that sensation that he felt every time Chanyeol seemed farther than before, when he went away, when he wasn’t home.

That heart wrecking sensation of longing for something that he could never obtain.

He shifted from an andante to a forte without even realizing it, letting out everything as his emotions required him.

When he hit the last key, he realized that his breath was coming shorter and droplets of sweat was drippling down his neck into his sweater.

He sat up immediately, feeling like he showed something too dear and precious to be seen to someone who wasn’t supposed to see it.

“I’m sorry” he stuttered but Sehun clapped his hand shortly.

“It was beautiful, Baekhyun. It’s so heart wrecking this deep love” he said and Baekhyun bit his lips softly.

“Thanks” he managed to say and he wanted to go away but Sehun asked him something.

“How many time you’ve been in love?” he asked him and Baekhyun’s eyes went larger before he could reply honestly.

“Once” he whispered and Sehun seemed surprised.

“And how it ended?” he continued making Baekhyun inhaling deeply before replying.

He was so tense and he felt Chanyeol’s eyes on him, judging him.

“It hasn’t” he murmured again and Sehun nodded shortly.

“But it seems like you are resigned about it? Why?” he continued and Baekhyun wanted to disappear.

But he couldn’t just excuse himself and flee the scene again.

“It’s an unrequited love. Impossible like the idea that two moons will appear in the sky tonight” he replied softly, quoting a book that he and Chanyeol read together what seemed to be hundred years before and hoping that the last question didn’t arrive.

However Sehun made it anyway.

“Why impossible?” he asked and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Because it’s not meant to be. And he has already a loved one” he replied, immediately biting his lips again.

He let out too easily his preferences.

“Oh, so it’s a man” Sehun commented smiling and Baekhyun nodded shortly.

“I’m sorry” he added but both Sehun and Chanyeol shook their heads.

“That’s fine, we don’t judge sexual orientations” Sehun commented and Baekhyun pressed his lips together in a thin line.

No, definitely they weren’t in the position to judge, in Baekhyun’s opinion.

“Now I will go… Sorry for having bothered you with… _this_ ” he said picking up his keyboard but Sehun smiled toward him.

“It wasn’t a bother, _Hyunnie_ , I hope to hear you play more” he added and Baekhyun blushed at the amicable nickname.

“Is that fine for you? Or you don’t like it?” he asked and Baekhyun shook his head.

Sehun sat up from the couch and neared him, patting his head.

“You are so cute, _Hyunnie_ ” he commented kissing him on the cheek and leaving the apartment without any other words.

Baekhyun was astonished.

“He… kissed me?” he asked softly and Chanyeol hummed shortly.

“Sehun is always so touchy with all the people that catch his attention” he replied.

“And you’re fine with it?” it was the only thing that Baekhyun managed to say.

Chanyeol nodded shortly and Baekhyun pressed again his lips together.

Even if Chanyeol nodded, there was something that was plaguing him.

But Baekhyun didn’t want to know it.

So he finally excused himself and locked himself up until the day after.

Chanyeol probably didn’t like it that Sehun kissed Baekhyun.

That’s why he wasn’t his usual self.

Baekhyun sighed again.

At least he had his piece for the next week.

In less than a week from then, the irreparable happened.

Chanyeol went outside the city for few days, leaving Baekhyun alone.

Totally alone.

And Baekhyun was frustrated and tired and had a lot of feelings that he really wanted to release a bit.

Since when he moved in with Chanyeol, he almost never touched himself and neither fingered himself.

So he decided to use the time he had alone to release his needs a bit.

Especially knowing that Chanyeol wouldn’t be home for that night.

He took his sweet time, imagining things that he could never do but at least in his fantasies still were able to happen.

He stroked himself shortly, without any urgency, taking the lube from the nightstand and sitting on the bed.

Baekhyun poured a generous amount of lube on his fingers and started to play around, inserting his finger one after the other.

It was a while since last time, but his body was still used to his fingers and didn’t make too much resistance.

He started stroking faster, moaning and whimpering at his own ministrations, too focused on his own pleasure.

He was so blissed out in that moment that he didn’t realize that Chanyeol was back and it was too late to close the door.

Chanyeol assisted at the last scenes of Baekhyun’s coming on his own fingers, breathing Chanyeol’s name.

He realized too late that Chanyeol was there, stare fixed on his figure and eyes widened in astonishment.

“I…” Baekhyun started, even though he didn’t even know what to say.

He felt so bad and so embarrassed that he couldn’t even think of something.

But there wasn’t any need.

Chanyeol turned his back to him, exiting again from the house.

Baekhyun only wanted to cry.

He washed himself swiftly, tears coming to his eyes even if he tried his best not to cry.

He packed some clothes, music sheets, his keyboard, his phone and went away.

Never in all of his life he felt so miserable and mortified.

Of all the ways in which Chanyeol could know Baekhyun’s feelings for him, that one was the most humiliating.

He was so angry with himself and felt so stupid.

And not being able to tell it to Jondae because he felt too bad about that, he went to Kyungsoo’s.

He knocked on his door and it was almost eleven.

When Kyungsoo opened the door was surprised and worried to see him there.

“Baekhyun, something happened?” he asked and Baekhyun nodded.

“Please, let me stay here for tonight” he pleaded and Kyungsoo let him enter in his apartment.

“Am I disturbing you? I’m sorry if it’s so late” Baekhyun said after thanking him at least five times.

Kyungsoo shook his head.

“I was watching a movie with my… with Jongin” he replied and Baekhyun sighed softly.

He knew of the strange relationship between Kyungsoo and Jongin.

Kyungsoo asked him some counseling a while ago, asking him what was better to do.

They were as boyfriends, but they formally weren’t.

And neither of the two managed the courage to ask the other officially out.

“How is it?” he asked and Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders, reaching the living room when Jongin was sitting on the couch.

“Oh, Baek, long time no see! What’s up?” he asked, sitting up and exchanging a punch-greeting with Baekhyun.

“Not as good as I would hope. I was thinking about spending the night but I don’t want to ruin you guys plans” he commented but both Kyungsoo and Jongin shook their heads.

“No, no if something is the matter, we are here. Something happened with your cousin?” Jongin asked and Kyungsoo’s stare was immediately on him.

He knew about Baekhyun’s situation with Chanyeol.

“I made a mess, Soo. Now he knows and… I don’t know. I suppose I’ll move out” he started voice cracking on the end.

Kyungsoo immediately patted him softly on the shoulder.

“Do you want something to drink? Let’s sit down” he said and Baekhyun nodded, following them in the kitchen.

“He didn’t say anything?” Kyungsoo asked him offering him a glass of water and Baekhyun blushed softly.

“He walked in while I was…” he started but couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

It was too embarrassing to speak it aloud.

But Jongin caught immediately the sense.

“Enjoy yourself?” he asked making Kyungsoo cough on his water and Baekhyun nodded briefly.

“I’m so ashamed” Baekhyun added covering his face with his hands but Jongin laughed soundly.

“It’s only human, Baek, everyone does it” he said and Kyungsoo nodded shortly too.

“Still, he walked in and … he went away immediately. I didn’t think either. I just showered packed up something and came here. Dae would be the end of me if he knew this thing” he said and Kyungsoo sighed.

“Yeah, definitely” he added and there was a moment of silence before Kyungsoo spoke again.

“So what do you plan to do now?” he asked and Baekhyun wanted to cry again.

He ruined the love he kept hidden for years just for a moment of pleasure.

He couldn’t go back to that house anymore.

Always hoping that Chanyeol wouldn’t go to his mother telling her about that.

Baekhyun sighed deeply and Kyungsoo patted again his shoulder.

“We will find a solution, Baekhyun. You can stay here for a while, if you want” he added and Baekhyun felt so blessed in having such a caring friend.

“Thank you, Soo. I’ll look for a small place during these days so it’s just for few nights” he explained and Kyungsoo nodded.

“No worries, we have your back” Jongin said and Kyungsoo showed him thumbs up.

“Thanks guys. I owe you a lot” he concluded hugging them both.

That night passed strangely.

He tried to sleep without success but he was relatively calm about what happened.

There wasn't a way back and, even though he still considered it like the most embarrassing thing happened to him, he knew he had to move on.

Morning came and he felt like he could do anything.

Somehow everything would fit, even though without Chanyeol.

He felt like he wanted to explain, even just once what he felt for him and that everything he ever played or sang was for him and him only.

But Baekhyun knew that probably Chanyeol was disgusted by the idea that his cousin, the one that he considered as his brother, was romantically and sexually invested in him.

Especially considering the fact that he already had a special someone.

So when the day after, Chanyeol didn't contact him, he didn't contact him either.

He went to university like every other day and spend his time as he would do.

But at the end, he returned to Kyungsoo's instead to what he considered home for months.

It was only on the fourth day, after Baekhyun started to go around seeing small apartments in rent, that he received a message from Chanyeol.

" _Aren't you coming home?_ " it was the only message and Baekhyun re-read it thrice for being sure that it was from Chanyeol and that the content was that one and no other things.

He almost ran to Kyungsoo.

"What do I do?" he asked him and Kyungsoo pondered it shortly.

"Go home. And if something happens, come back here. Whatever you may need, I'll be here" he finally suggested and Baekhyun sighed deeply.

Once there, what would happen?

Chanyeol maybe just wanted to give him his things because they occupied space in the flat.

Or maybe he already contacted his mother and they both were ready to scold him.

Baekhyun nodded, taking his things.

"Okay, I'll go. And I'll let you know what happens" he concluded, exiting the apartment and going to visit Chanyeol.

For all the way to home, he couldn't think about anything. Whatever seemed to be a better distraction than the actual thought of what was bounded to happen.

Once there, he knocked but no one replied.

He sat down, waiting.

He left the keys inside when he decided to leave.

Baekhyun played a bit with his phone and then, when he was almost tired of waiting and he sat up, Chanyeol appeared from the lift.

Baekhyun didn’t know what to say so he remained silent.

"You are here" Chanyeol stated neutrally and Baekhyun hummed in thought.

"Here I am" he replied and his eyes shifted to his shoes, waiting.

"Why didn't you enter?" he asked and Baekhyun sighed.

"I left the keys home" he replied honestly and Chanyeol nodded, keys rustling and opening the door and leaving it open for Baekhyun.

He followed him and closed the door after him.

There was a small silence and then Chanyeol asked him where he stayed in those days.

"A friend of mine let me stay" he replied softly.

"Jondae?" he asked and Baekhyun shook his head, not giving him a name.

"I was worried" he added and Baekhyun smiled bitterly.

"Sure, I imagine it" he replied sarcastically and Chanyeol flinched.

"What do you...?" he started and Baekhyun shook his head.

"What would you say to my mom if something happened to me and you didn't know where I was?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders and Chanyeol shook his head.

"It wasn't for this reason, Baek..." he started and Baekhyun hummed, without adding anything.

"Baek, please, would you listen to me?" he asked and Baekhyun nodded, without meeting his eyes.

"I want you to come back home and stay" he said and Baekhyun raised an eyebrow.

"I can't live here anymore" he murmured and Chanyeol shook his head.

"We can pretend that it didn't happened" he said and Baekhyun felt the hurt more than the rejection.

He would have preferred if Chanyeol would have completely rejected him instead of ignoring his feelings.

"You pretended for years, why not now too?" he continued but Baekhyun shook his head.

"It's not possible. I can't hide it anymore, not now that you know it" he interrupted but Chanyeol shook his head.

"You don't know what you're talking about" he said tone low and words barely hearable.

Baekhyun's eyes widened.

"I don't know? I was in love with you since forever...! How could I not know?" he asked back and Chanyeol shook his head.

"You're too young to know. And you are mistaking affection for love" he commented and Baekhyun felt tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

"You're kidding me, right?" he asked him and when Chanyeol shook his head, Baekhyun slapped him.

"How dare you? My feelings are only mine and I won't stay here hearing that from you" he exclaimed starting to exiting the house but Chanyeol took his hand, forcing him back and against his chest, embracing him.

"There a lot of things you don't know, Baekhyun. So please, stay with me and let's forget about it, won't we?" he asked whispering softly near his ears.

Baekhyun raised his stare to meet Chanyeol's pleading and loving one.

"What...?" he started but Chanyeol shook his head.

"I don't want you to go away. Stay and let's pretend nothing happened" he repeated and Baekhyun saw something similar to fear in his eyes.

So he just nodded.

Even though he was sure it would hurt him even more, he nodded, agreeing to whatever Chanyeol was proposing him.

"Okay, if that's what you want" he whispered and Chanyeol hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Baek" he sighed hugging him even tighter and Baekhyun patted on his shoulder, slowly.

He didn't know why he wanted to pretend nothing happened, but he feared the feelings hidden in Chanyeol's stare, and if Chanyeol wanted to remain like that, it was fine.

He could take it for a while.

For a while more it would be fine.

There was a period of truce between them.

They literally pretended that nothing happened.

Chanyeol tried to convince him to do a lot of things together but Baekhyun took only the ones which didn't make them too near and didn't require physical interactions.

Baekhyun still felt awkward around him even though he tried his best not to show it.

Kyungsoo was pretty upset when he knew what Chanyeol told him and definitely pissed off when he knew that Baekhyun accepted.

"You will end up hurting yourself, Baekhyun. He has to be clear about his feelings, too. Why he wants you to stay while he perfectly knows what you feel about him? Certainly it’s not because he likes you back since he already has a lover. So why...?" he started saying but Baekhyun shook his head.

"I think it's safer to think that he doesn't want to face it. And it's easier if he doesn't know anything about my feelings at all" Baekhyun commented and Kyungsoo sighed.

"Exactly my point. And that's okay for you? What if he brings again that Sehun home? Will you stay quiet knowing that they are embracing like you want to do with him? Knowing that he knows too?" he asked and Baekhyun cringed shortly.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked and Kyungsoo shook his head.

"Just so you realize that it's an idiocy. You will just hurt yourself" he said and Baekhyun sighed. 

"We will see, Soo. I'm sorry but for the moment I don't know what to do... I just don't want to be apart from Chanyeol" he explained and Kyungsoo hugged him, contrary to Baekhyun's expectations. 

"Thanks, Soo. I appreciate it so much" he whispered in the embrace and Kyungsoo patted his shoulders. 

"You're an idiot and this Chanyeol guy doesn't deserve you. If I ever meet him, I'll tell him for sure" he added and Baekhyun snorted. 

"Let's hope you two never meet, then" he concluded. 

Despite Baekhyun's words, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo actually met.

It was a summer day, a bit before summer vacations and Baekhyun was at the campus singing with Jondae and Kyungsoo under a tree during lunch break.

Baekhyun's phone rang and when he saw Chanyeol's ID he frowned a little.

He didn't expect a call for him.

"Hey Baek, you free tonight?" he asked when Baekhyun replied and he replied affirmatively.

“Perfect, I’ll pick you up later. Is five okay?” he continued and Baekhyun agreed.

When he hung up, Kyungsoo and Jondae stared at him, waiting.

“Chanyeol is coming to picking me up this evening” he said shortly and Kyungsoo nodded shortly.

“Finally I’ll meet him, then” he observed and Jondae snorted.

“He’s tall and handsome. And a successful business man” Jondae added but Kyungsoo shook his head.

“He could be even Prince Charming for what it concerns me, but I don’t like how he’s treating Baekhyun” he explained and Baekhyun sighed shortly.

“There is no problem, Soo. I’ll be fine” Baekhyun concluded and Kyungsoo shook briefly his head, without adding anything more.

However, when five came, they both insisted to accompany Baekhyun where he had to meet with Chanyeol.

Chanyeol was already there leaning on the side of his car, navy suit and pull back hair.

Baekhyun loved him even more when he was wearing like that.

Chanyeol saw him nearing and smiled shortly.

“Hi there” he greeted and Baekhyun smiled softly.

“He is my friend and classmate, Do Kyungsoo” he stated gesturing toward Kyungsoo and then immediately added: “and he is my cousin and roommate, Park Chanyeol”.

Chanyeol offered a smile but Kyungsoo just clicked his tongue.

“So he is the infamous Chanyeol” he noted and Baekhyun nodded shortly ignoring Chanyeol’s perplexed stare.

“Baekhyun is a precious friend, Mr. Park. And I don’t like it when he’s not his bright and annoying self” he said directly toward Chanyeol who wanted to reply but Kyungsoo shook his head.

“I already hear excuses, so I’ll now go. Baekhyun see you tomorrow” he said, hugging him softly and walking away.

Jondae laughed briefly before patting Baekhyun’s shoulder and remembering him their next day’s meeting and walking away too.

There was a small silence and then Chanyeol spoke.

“Your friends don’t like me very much, especially that Kyungsoo” he noted briefly and Baekhyun sighed.

“He just worries about things. More than I do” he shortly replied, immediately shifting subject.

“Where do we have to go?” he asked and Chanyeol smiled.

“It’s a surprise” he replied immediately and Baekhyun sighed.

It wasn’t worth it to ask.

Chanyeol would never reply to him sincerely.

“Let’s go then” he concluded without too much enthusiasm.

They went to meet Sehun and then drove around the city, in almost every possible shop, especially the ones with too many zeros on the tags, looking for something undefined for Baekhyun to wear.

He never tried on so many clothes in all of his life, let alone in one day.

Sehun judged him brutally but honestly.

And at every thumb up from Sehun, Chanyeol swiped his credit card unhearing Baekhyun’s protests.

At eight and half, the world started to spin around him so they decided to take a break, sitting in a bar in the center.

His university clothes left place to something more refined and elegant, as per Sehun’s words.

The jacket made him feel uncomfortable, but it suited well with the black trousers and the satin blue shirt.

They ate something light and then Sehun asked him to accompany him to the restroom.

Baekhyun nodded shortly, even if he was perplexed.

Sehun had some kind of relationship with Chanyeol so, why doing all of this for Baekhyun?

Wasn’t he jealous or protective regarding Chanyeol?

They went to the restroom and Sehun magically produced a make-up bag from somewhere.

“Have you ever put on eyeliner?” he asked and Baekhyun nodded shortly.

That time after Jondae put it on him, sometimes Baekhyun started to wear it also to go to University or for some evenings out with the others.

“Perfect. Close your eyes” he said and Baekhyun obeyed without even thinking.

He stayed still while Sehun put the eyeliner on him and when Sehun ended, stared at him perplexed.

“You’re beautiful” Sehun concluded making him blush softly.

“Why are you doing this for me?” he mumbled and Sehun snorted.

“Because you are worth it” he replied and Baekhyun laughed bitterly.

“Not for who matters” let out too quickly and Sehun sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“ _Hyunnie_ , Yeol is just an idiot. Give him time” he said and Baekhyun raised an eyebrow puzzled.

Sehun smiled softly.

“He still doesn’t know what he wants. You are way more adult than him” he added and Baekhyun shook his head.

“I think I’m not following… Aren’t you and Chanyeol dating?” he asked and Sehun remained silent for a second before exploding in a soundly laughter.

“We what? Oh gosh, no, for how I like him as one of the best producer around, we are not romantically nor sexually invested!” he said and Baekhyun’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I… actually I think I mistook something?” he started saying and Sehun smiled softly.

“It’s just because you are so in love with him that you couldn’t see any other thing” he commented and Baekhyun sighed again.

“Is it so obvious?” he asked shortly and Sehun nodded briefly.

“But let me tell you a thing, _Hyunnie_ , Yeol is just scared. He loves you so much…” he started and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Like his own brother, yeah, I know” he interrupted him but Sehun shook his head.

“Oh no, definitely not like his own brother. At least, I wouldn’t want to do certain thing with my brother…” he commented making Baekhyun blush.

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asked him and Sehun smiled slyly.

“I can’t believe that you don’t know, _Hyunnie_. Yeol is pretty obvious too…” he commented but Baekhyun shook his head.

“I think you’re misunderstanding something, Sehun. It’s like _impossible_ that Chanyeol feel something for me beside affection” he interjected but Sehun laughed shortly again.

“And I tell you that you’re not seeing the obvious. Yeol is mad about you. He can’t stop talking about you and he was out of him when you ran away for few days without letting him know where” he noted and Baekhyun raised his eyebrow in astonishment.

“He said that I ran away?” he asked and Sehun seemed perplexed.

“You didn’t?” he enquired back and Baekhyun sighed.

“Not exactly. He caught me doing something I shouldn’t have…” he explained and Sehun wasn’t convinced.

“More in the specific?” he demanded and Baekhyun blushed deeply.

Even before he could reply, Sehun hummed in thought.

“Ah, I see now. Were you, uhm, enjoying yourself?” he continued and Baekhyun nodded, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

Sehun laughed brilliantly.

“No need to feel ashamed, it’s only a natural need. But it explains something…” he continued and Baekhyun wanted to ask him something more but Chanyeol entered from the front door.

“Is taking you any longer? We are going to be late” he stated and Baekhyun could tell that he was nervous.

Then Chanyeol’s stare shifted to Baekhyun and there remained.

They stared at each other for minutes more than instants.

“Is it too much?” Baekhyun asked softly and Chanyeol shook his head, awestruck.

“No, you look…” he started and Baekhyun’s fingers fixed his own collar, caressing his neck and licking his lips.

“… fine” Chanyeol concluded, imitating his gesture, eyes following Baekhyun’s fingers.

“Weren’t we late?” Sehun asked shortly, amusement coloring his stare and smile.

Chanyeol nodded, forcing his stare away from Baekhyun and exiting the restroom.

Sehun smiled toward Baekhyun.

“What I was saying?” he asked smirking and Baekhyun blushed again.

“And if you don’t trust my words, you will later tonight. He will be forced to face what he feels for you, because you don’t have to suffer like that” he added and Baekhyun smiled softly.

“You could team up with my classmate, Kyungsoo. He said the same things also today and all the other days before” he sighed and Sehun passed an arm on his shoulder, pulling him closer.

“I cheer for you, _Hyunnie_. And I just want to see you both happy” he whispered and Baekhyun smiled shortly, thanking him.

They followed Chanyeol outside the bar and then in his car.

Baekhyun was still scared of what would come, but also thrilled about that evening.

Wherever they were going, something was destined to change.

Going to a party with Chanyeol and Sehun was definitely different from what he did with Jondae.

The club was chiller and people danced around more composed than the party where he went with Jondae.

Sehun offered Baekhyun a tall glass with a light blue drink inside.

“Nothing fancy. And you have a knight in shiny armor tonight, so just enjoy it” he added and Baekhyun’s stare went to Chanyeol who nodded shortly.

The drink tasted like blueberry and alcohol, but lighter on the last one.

“It’s sweet” he commented and Sehun laughed shortly.

“Sure it is, but don’t drink too much. Even though it seems light, it’s pretty strong” he added and Baekhyun nodded briefly.

For a while he stayed put chatting with Sehun and Chanyeol, sipping the drink but then Sehun took his hand and invited him to dance.

Chanyeol didn’t seem to appreciate it too much but didn’t say anything so Baekhyun went with him.

Dancing with Sehun was more than pleasant.

He knew what to do and lead Baekhyun around, hands touching his hips and making Baekhyun feel appreciated and not _a kid_ as Chanyeol would define him.

“You look beautiful” Sehun whispered in his ear making Baekhyun smile brightly, cheeks red from the heat and from the alcohol.

“Thanks? Somehow I feel so too…” he replied honestly, leaning in to speak with Sehun without shouting.

He could feel the heat coming from Sehun, his cologne something fresh like mint and maybe all those perfume’s names which had something to do with the sea and the marine.

Sehun’s hand stroke slightly along his side, pulling him closer.

“That’s fine, because you are stunning tonight” he whispered again, making Baekhyun chuckling softly.

“Is there something you are trying to say me, Sehun?” he asked and Sehun shifted his arm around Baekhyun’s back, pulling him even closer.

“You know exactly what. And in no more than two minutes, Yeol will be here. He was already so tense when I proposed to go out together tonight. Especially when I told him that I was interested in you” he whispered again, lips brushing softly with Baekhyun’s ear.

Baekhyun blushed, cheeks taking a deeper red.

“Which is…” he started but Sehun detached from him, smiling softly.

“Just something for making his ass move” he murmured, this time leaning in and Baekhyun could felt his breath on his lips, nose almost touching.

They stare at each other for an instant but then a coughing sound came from their left and whatever there was, it was interrupted making them look at the direction from where the sound came.

“You took a long time with Baek, may I have a dance too?” Chanyeol asked and Sehun smiled, tilting his head on the side.

“Sure thing. Sorry for having monopolized him for a while” he concluded, distancing himself from Baekhyun and making him smile shortly toward Chanyeol.

Chanyeol took his hand, closing partially the gap that there was between them.

He maintained a certain distance, though.

“You have to be more aware of yourself, Baek. Sehun likes to play around and…” he started but Baekhyun shook his head shortly.

“What’s bad? He made me feel appreciated for a while. I didn’t dislike it” he interrupted him, forcing a smile.

Chanyeol was perplexed.

“I think you knew that you’re beautiful” he commented and Baekhyun blushed softly.

“Still. Sometimes is great if someone reminds you” he retorted, sighing and pressing his lips together, forcing another smile.

Chanyeol huffed.

“Someone you mean whoever?” he asked and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Is it so bad? If I enjoy the thought that someone could be attracted by me?” he asked back and Chanyeol sighed.

“No, you know that you could have anybody here, tonight” he replied and Baekhyun laughed bitterly.

“Sure, anybody” he echoed, distancing himself from Chanyeol and stopping his dance.

Chanyeol stopped too, looking at him perplexed.

“I think I’ll sit a bit. Sorry” he murmured, voice barely audible in the whole club and he made a move but Chanyeol took his hand, making him stay.

Baekhyun raised his stare on Chanyeol’s, waiting for an explanation or a gesture that didn’t come.

“Chanyeol…” he started but he shook his head, without adding any other thing.

“I won’t stay here, waiting” Baekhyun said shortly, leaning in and caressing Chanyeol’s cheek.

“You know that I’m not interested in anyone else. Because my only love is you” he whispered, tiptoeing and placing a short kiss on Chanyeol’s lips.

He didn’t have the courage to sustain Chanyeol’s stare, so he distanced himself again, starting to going back where they were sitting before.

But Chanyeol took his hand again, this time completely eliminating the distance that there was between them, hugging him.

“Stay” he whispered but Baekhyun shook his head.

“So that we can play brothers again? Not tonight” he replied, pushing Chanyeol’s chest and trying to distance them again.

But Chanyeol shook his head too.

“What do you want me to do, Baek?” he asked him and Baekhyun sighed.

“Nothing” he replied, trying to push him distant again, but Chanyeol didn’t let him.

“It would be so easy if we didn’t know at all…” he whispered and Baekhyun deeply sighed.

“It’s not like that. So would you mind letting me go? I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to. Anything you will regret tomorrow. So, just let me go? Don’t keep me here giving me false hopes on something that will never happen” he concluded, pinching Chanyeol’s side, making him squeal and release Baekhyun from the embrace.

He could feel tears coming to his eyes, but he still smiled softly.

“If you don’t want me, at least don’t keep me either. Reject me, tell me you don’t love me like I do. That you despise me and the fact that, even though we grew up together, I still love you. Tell me that you cannot stand me and you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. Put an end to these useless feelings of mine” he whispered staring at Chanyeol and pleading him to do something, anything, to change the situation they were stuck in.

Even in worse, it would be better.

He just needed to erase or embrace that love once and forever.

“I…” Chanyeol started and Baekhyun braced himself.

Finally the words would come.

Sehun wasn’t right and he didn’t understand how Chanyeol was.

He wouldn’t risk being hated by their families just for Baekhyun.

He wouldn’t go against everything just for Baekhyun.

Because despite the affection he could feel for Baekhyun, he didn’t love him.

Chanyeol sighed.

“I cannot tell you what is not true, Baek” he said shortly and Baekhyun’s stare immediately went to his face.

Chanyeol smiled shortly, hugging him softly again.

The background music seemed to agree with the situation, becoming something slower and sweet.

“I can’t tell you that I don’t love you. Because I do, and from so many years I’ve almost lost the count” he started, fingers brushing slowly his hips and making Baekhyun feel warm.

“You don’t know what you’re saying” Baekhyun whispered and Chanyeol shortly distanced himself from Baekhyun, looking at him in the eyes, astonished.

“What?” he asked back and Baekhyun smiled sadly.

“It gave me the same feeling when you firstly said it to me” he commented and Chanyeol hugged him tighter, hangs gripping on his sides.

“I’m sorry, Baek. You’re too precious and dear to waste your time and feelings with me” he started but Baekhyun shook his head.

“And you’re too stupid if this was your only problem” he sighed softly but Chanyeol sighed deeply too.

“What about your mother? How could I…” he started but Baekhyun pushed a finger on his lips.

“I knew it was about this. And I don’t care. You are the only one I care about” he whispered, hand moving to caress his cheek, slowly drifting to his neck.

“You make things too easy” he noted and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Aren’t you making them too difficult? My only problem always was if you loved me back or not. I thought you weren’t interested in me in this sense” he explained and Chanyeol let out a bitter laugh.

“Not being interested? Baek you are so smart, kind, gorgeous and… I don’t have enough words to describe you and what I felt for all these years. I didn’t even know you liked men” he added and Baekhyun leant his head on Chanyeol’s chest.

“And now that you know all of this and I know that you love me back, what will we do? I won’t pretend not to know as you did” he commented and Chanyeol shook his head.

“I’m sorry…” he started again but Baekhyun exhaled shortly.

“I don’t care. Just tell me what it will be of us” he cut him off and Chanyeol stared at him.

Baekhyun could clearly feel his hesitation.

And he waited and waited again.

When nothing came, he sighed deeply.

“I understand” he concluded pushing him definitely away and walking toward the exit.

What did he even think about?

Obviously Chanyeol wouldn’t do it.

Being with Baekhyun would mean going against his own family and everything he fought in those years.

Baekhyun wiped away some tears that escaped without his permission and exited in the summer night.

It was humid and he didn’t even know where was home.

He started walking in some direction, hoping to find a metro station or something similar along the way.

He felt so stupid.

For a moment, he really thought that things could go well.

If Chanyeol loved him too, they could solve it.

But Chanyeol was afraid and Baekhyun wasn’t willing to pretend anymore.

“ _Hyunnie_ , wait! Wait” he heard calling from behind and when he turned around he saw Sehun gesturing him.

“I won’t come back inside” he said even before the man could add something else.

But Sehun shook his head.

“I know. I’ll just accompany you home” he added and Baekhyun shook his head.

“I don’t want to go home. Not tonight. I’ll go to my friends’ place” he replied but Sehun shook his head too.

“It’s too late now. Come with me, if you don’t want to go home” he suggested and Baekhyun nodded.

“Thank, Sehun” he concluded and Sehun sighed.

“I’m sorry, I thought he wouldn’t be so stubborn” he added and Baekhyun pressed his lips together in a thin line.

“I saw it coming. I should have known it” he concluded and Sehun slowly caressed his back, trying without any success to ease him a bit.

“Is it because of your families?” he asked and Baekhyun nodded shortly.

“Obviously yes. But I can’t go on like this forever, Sehun. It hurt so much every time I think of how much I would like to be with him, hugging him and loving him freely. But then I have to force and restraint myself, remembering which is my place and that I’m his eternal almost brother” he said and tears started to flow slowly.

Sehun patted him again on his back and they went home.

Sehun’s house wasn’t so different from Chanyeol and, even though Sehun insisted so much, Baekhyun took the couch, refusing also a change of clothes.

“Tomorrow morning I’ll go away. I’m sorry again for disturbing you” was the last sentence that Baekhyun said before shooing Sehun away and laying on the couch, arm covering his eyes, trying to steady his breath.

Everything was over.

Even though Chanyeol loved him, it wasn’t a possibility that they could stay together.

He tried to push away all the feelings that were oppressing his chest, thinking of how he could do from that moment on.

Finding a new apartment was a must, then.

He couldn’t share an apartment with Chanyeol anymore.

And he had to find a part-time work too, otherwise he wouldn’t manage all the expenses.

For not speaking of explaining his mother and family why he moved out from the apartment with Chanyeol.

He could already hear his mother complaining about him living alone.

He sighed deeply, moving on his side.

Whatever would happen, could wait until the day after.

Next day, he was woken up by a rustling sound in the kitchen.

“Sehun?” he asked shortly, standing up slowly, hair ruffled and shirt crinkled.

But when he went in the kitchen he found Chanyeol.

He stared at him, stopping his moving around pans and dishes.

His eyes were red and he didn’t seem to have slept that night.

“Morning” he said, forcing a smile and Baekhyun made a small gesture with his head.

“I wanted to make breakfast, but Sehun’s fridge is empty” he added taking again some dishes but Baekhyun took them from his hands, setting them down on the counter.

“What are you doing here?” he asked and Chanyeol forced a smile and even before he could say anything, Baekhyun shook his head.

“I will listen only if you tell me what you are really thinking about. No filters, no families, no social obligations” he warned him and Chanyeol sighed deeply, leaning on the counter.

“I stopped considering you as my little brother when you were fifteen. You were interesting, kind, you made me laugh, so talented and gorgeous. I tried so hard to push away all my feelings since then” he started pulling his fingers between his hair, messing them up.

For the first time, Baekhyun could see the real feelings under the surface that Chanyeol brought up in all those years.

“When you came to live with me, I felt like I was living both in heaven and hell. Having you around was the most pleasant thing and made me feel so happy, but at the same time I had to hide all my feelings better, trying harder not to show you something that could potentially disgust you, for what I knew” he added shortly, shaking his head.

“But when I walked in on you touching yourself, I couldn’t tear my stare away. You were so beautiful and were coming with my name on your lips and I wanted you so much that I had to go away. Because I couldn’t think at anything different beside joining you and touching you” he continued, voice frustrated and teeth biting shortly his lips.

Baekhyun felt the blush creeping on his cheeks at the memories but giving them a whole other sense now.

“I was so worried when you didn’t come back for few nights and I thought that the best way to having you back without shaking up the whole world around us, was asking you to pretend nothing happened. Like I wanted to ask you also yesterday” he concluded and Baekhyun sighed, shaking his head.

“I won’t. Not anymore, Chanyeol. I can’t do it” he said firmly and Chanyeol smiled softly.

“I know” he commented, making Baekhyun flinch.

He wasn’t prepared for another discourse on how their families wouldn’t probably accept it and how they had to hide their feelings and the fact that they were both in love with the other.

He wanted to ask what Chanyeol meant to say with that sentence ready to give him an hard time, but Chanyeol stretched out a hand, caressing Baekhyun’s.

“And I won’t ask you. I want us to be together, Baekhyun. Not as cousin or friends, but as lovers and partners” he whispered taking his hand and bring it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on it.

Baekhyun was astonished.

“You’re not joking?” he asked, unable to process the words and the thought in his mind.

Chanyeol shook his head.

“No, I won’t run away from you anymore. Please, let me love you” he added and Baekhyun hugged him tightly even before letting him finish the sentence.

“You won’t change your heart tomorrow? Sleeping on it won’t make your thoughts disappear, making your idea revolving back to the pretending?” he asked, voice muffled from Chanyeol’s shirt.

His heart was overjoying but he feared that it was only a momentarily thing.

That the day after or at the first difficulties, Chanyeol would go away.

“I think it’s not possible anymore. I… called your mother earlier” he started and Baekhyun raised immediately his stare on Chanyeol’s.

“You are kidding me” he whispered but Chanyeol shook his head.

“No, I thought that she would call you too, but from your reaction she hasn’t called yet?” he asked and Baekhyun only managed to shake his head.

“Eventually she will. Because I told her that I was in love with you and I planned to tell you everything. I don’t know if she was…” he started but Baekhyun interrupted him.

“My mom doesn’t know about my feelings. Even though she suspects that I’m not straight” he supplied and Chanyeol smiled softly.

“She was kind of surprised at first, but I told her that I wasn’t asking her if I could ask you out. I was just informing her that I would do it, because I waited too many years to delay it any further. She was somehow _pleased_ to know about my feelings” he added and Baekhyun shook his head incredulous.

“You phoned her and told her that you were asking me out? Out of the blue? Without any other explanation?” he asked, hands shaking and reaching for his phone.

He unlocked the screen seeing three missed calls and a message.

“Yeah. I thought it was the only way to finally settle the things between us. If you still want it, obviously” Chanyeol replied and Baekhyun’s eyes were immediately on Chanyeol’s.

“If I want it? Chanyeol, you are what I dreamt of for all my life. How could I not want it?” he asked, fingers shaking and slowly caressing Chanyeol’s cheek.

He felt on the verge of crying.

Chanyeol called his mother just for making things clear and inform her about them dating.

Even though he knew that it could put him in an unfortunate situation with both families.

Tainting his social status and the fact that he was a successful, brilliant man that every woman wanted to date.

And all of this only for Baekhyun, his almost cousin, with who he spent years playing around and building a solid relation without knowing that Baekhyun too was in love with him.

Chanyeol smiled again, imitating his gesture and caressing Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Then there is nothing for you to worry. I’m sorry I didn’t take responsibility of my actions and feelings for all this time, hurting you and making you feel miserable. Now I want to change everything and love you as you deserve” he whispered leaning in and pressing softly his lips on Baekhyun’s.

“I love you” Chanyeol whispered making Baekhyun momentarily stop functioning properly.

“I love you too” he replied shortly, caressing his neck and pulling him down for another kiss, this time slower and sweeter.

Chanyeol rested his hands on Baekhyun’s hips, pulling him closer, kissing him slowly and savoring Baekhyun’s taste on his lips.

And then immediately Baekhyun blushed and pushed him slightly, distancing himself from Chanyeol.

“I’m sorry. I …” he started and Chanyeol stared at him perplexed.

“Bathroom” Baekhyun whispered, vanishing in the bathroom and quickly washing his face, teeth and brushing a bit his hair.

He sighed shortly, feeling an idiot, and returning in the kitchen.

When Chanyeol saw him, he had to try really hard not to laugh.

“Baek, you’re always perfect. Even unwashed or with your hair uncombed” he said leaning in and placing a small kiss on Baekhyun’s lips and Baekhyun blushed, pouting.

“You’re unfair, _Yeollie_ ” he whispered and Chanyeol smiled softly.

“Sure, sure. I’m sorry. I’ll offer you Starbucks breakfast to make my amends, okay?” he asked and Baekhyun beamed.

“With cinnamon latte?” he asked and Chanyeol nodded shortly.

“Sure, whatever you want” he concluded taking Baekhyun’s hand in his.

They were exiting the house when Baekhyun’s phone rang again.

His mother ID compared on the screen and Baekhyun sighed softly.

“I have to take this” he murmured and Chanyeol nodded, without leaving his hand.

“Hi mom? How are you?” he said picking the call and his mother seemed to be tired from her voice tone.

“Baek? Are you with Chanyeollie?” she asked him and Baekhyun softly squeeze Chanyeol’s hand in his.

“Yes, why? Is there any problem?” he enquired back and his mother sighed softly.

“Perfect. Could you pass him the phone?” he added and Baekhyun’s stare went immediately at Chanyeol who nodded, being close enough to listen what his mother just asked.

He gave Chanyeol the phone and waited for her to speak.

“Chanyeollie? I forgot to tell you something earlier. I know that my child is a mess and sometimes he doesn’t know where is the right and where is the left, but take care of him. Because he was in love with you for so many years and now that I know that you love him back too, I can only wish you happiness” she said and Chanyeol’s stare was on Baekhyun immediately.

Baekhyun was astonished too.

His mother new about his feeling for Chanyeol?

Since when?

And why she didn’t tell him anything?

“You don’t have to worry, auntie. I love him more than my own life, I won’t let anything happen to him” he replied and Baekhyun’s mother laughed on the phone.

“I know you will. And Baekhyun, are you listening?” she asked and Baekhyun sighed before replying affirmatively.

“Take care of Chanyeollie too. Because he’s tall and big but soft and kind hearted. Don’t let anyone nor anything hurt him, including yourself” she warned and Baekhyun laughed shortly.

“As if I don’t know how much Chanyeol is soft” he commented making Chanyeol blush and his mother laugh again.

There was a small silence.

“How did you know?” Baekhyun asked, not able to restraint himself from asking and his mother laughed again.

“You’re so naïve, Baek. It was crystal clear. Why in the world do you think I suggested you to go living with Chanyeollie? Come on, give your old mother some credits…” she explained and Baekhyun blushed.

He didn’t even know what to say or how to comment his mother’s sentence.

The only thing he could think of was “Thank you, mom”.

“Sure, sure. Now I’ll go. I have to prepare this news for your father. It will be an initial shock for him, but you don’t have to worry about anything” she added and Baekhyun thanked her again.

“And sometimes come visit home, also with Chanyeollie. We are glad to see you two” she concluded and after some shorts greeting, Baekhyun hung up.

Chanyeol caressed Baekhyun’s hand which was still in his.

“It went… fine?” he asked and Baekhyun hummed in thought, tears slowly forming at the corner of his eyes.

His mother knew everything and supported him even when he didn’t know it.

In that moment, he felt so blessed.

He hugged Chanyeol tightly.

“I’m glad, _Yeollie_ ” he muffled in his shirt and Chanyeol stroke his back, slowly.

“Everything will be fine, Baek” he replied kissing the top of his head.

He hummed shortly before raising his head to Chanyeol.

“Cinnamon latte is waiting for you, then” he added, making Baekhyun smile.

And only a while after, when Chanyeol was driving them to the nearest Starbucks, Baekhyun finally asked the right question.

“How did you know I was at Sehun’s? And where Sehun went?” he asked making Chanyeol laughing shortly.

“I really panicked yesterday night and I didn’t have an idea where you went. Sehun called me only this morning around four, telling me that he was going to work, and you were at his place. I worked with him a lot, so we both have each other house keys so he told me to come here and _solve everything in the fastest way possible_ , quoting his words” he explained and Baekhyun smiled softly.

“Sehun really is a blessing. I’m glad you have a friend like him” he commented and Chanyeol nodded.

“I’m glad too” he concluded softly.

New life with Chanyeol was awkward at first.

Baekhyun didn’t know where the boundaries were.

What he could do or not without feeling like he was doing something wrong.

Chanyeol on the other side was kind and patient.

He always tried to contact Baekhyun every time he was free, he told him when he was coming home late or if he had to stay away from the city for few days.

He also tried his best to stay with Baekhyun as much as possible.

Baekhyun couldn’t complain about Chanyeol being always a sweetie and treating him like a prince.

Romantically speaking, Baekhyun couldn’t say anything at all.

However, on the physical level, they were stuck on the cuddle basis.

By the end of the summer, they didn’t move any further and Baekhyun was starting to worry.

“What if he doesn’t find me attractive?” he asked to Kyungsoo one night while they were watching reruns at Kyungsoo’s.

Jongin who finally became Kyungsoo’s boyfriend, somehow, shook his head.

“It’s not possible, Baek” he commented and Baekhyun sighed.

“Then why? Am I mistaking something?” he enquired again and Kyungsoo hummed in thought.

“Maybe he’s waiting for the right moment? Or maybe something coming from you?” he said tentatively and Baekhyun pressed his lips in a thin line.

“It’s not like I can walk around home with a sign asking him to…” he started but Kyungsoo blocked him immediately.

“No, sure. But maybe making your intentions clear in a particular evening? Or something like that?” he commented and Baekhyun hummed in thought.

“I’ll try also this” he sighed in the end.

He didn’t have time to try anything because Chanyeol went out of the city for few nights and Baekhyun remained alone again.

During the last night, Baekhyun couldn’t sleep, turning and kicking his blankets.

He was used to sleep with Chanyeol and he started to have problems every time Chanyeol went away.

Unable to relax, he decided to release his frustration a bit, smiling embarrassed at the idea.

It would be totally different if Chanyeol actually walked on him in that exactly moment, differently from that Spring.

Baekhyun sighed.

It wasn’t possible since it has already happened once and, come on, who can be so unlucky to make it happens also a second time?

So he sat on the bed, lube at hand’s reach, and started stroking himself slowly.

He imagined how he could be being touched from Chanyeol, his hands being bigger than Baekhyun’s and his fingers longer.

How his hands would caress him slowly, teasing, while his mouth kissed him everywhere.

He inhaled sharply, warm feeling starting to pool in his stomach.

Baekhyun closed his eyes, hand reaching the lube when he heard the front door opening.

From the first time, he started to be extra careful about it, and even though it didn’t happen before, this time was useful.

He clicked his tongue shortly, hiding the lube under the pillow and pulling up his boxer and short.

“Baek, are you awake?” Chanyeol’s voice came from the living room.

Baekhyun washed his hands and met him in the corridor.

“Welcome home, I thought you were coming home tomorrow” he said softly, smiling and Chanyeol caressed his cheek shortly.

“The plan was that, but we finished earlier and I came home” he replied leaning in and kissing Baekhyun slowly on the lips.

Baekhyun repressed the moan when their lips touched, keeping the contact short.

What if Chanyeol realized what he was doing before his arrival?

But Chanyeol felt touchy that night and his hands went down, caressing his neck, shoulders and resting on Baekhyun’s hips.

Baekhyun bit his lips, closing his eyes and concentrating all his being not to show Chanyeol how aroused he was.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asked him, kissing his cheek shortly and Baekhyun nodded, almost without breathing.

“Your cheeks are red and your eyes glassy. Did you catch a cold?” he continued and Baekhyun forced a smile.

“No, I’m fine” he replied shortly and Chanyeol started to kiss him near his ear, descending to his neck.

Baekhyun exhaled softly and he really, _really_ , wanted to pull his fingers in Chanyeol’s hair asking him to take him there without any other formalities.

But he forced another smile, pushing him away.

“You must be tired, go shower and then let’s sleep” he added and Chanyeol stared at him intently, analyzing him.

“Are you sure you are fine, Baek?” he asked him and Baekhyun pulled off his best smile, nodding.

Unfortunately, it didn’t convince Chanyeol in the slightest.

“You sure?” he asked again walking near Baekhyun who moved backwards inside the bedroom.

“Yeah, why?” he insisted but Chanyeol shook his head.

“Is there something that you are hiding me?” he enquired, moving again toward Baekhyun who retreated again, and Baekhyun could feel the blush coming to his cheek but tried his best not to show it.

Without any success, since Chanyeol raised his eyebrow.

“Oh, so there is something. Why don’t you want to tell me?” he asked teasing him and Baekhyun blushed shortly, backing again and bumping into the bed, sitting on it, with Chanyeol towering him.

“It’s nothing important, _Yeollie_. It can wait tomorrow” he replied tilting his head up to watch Chanyeol in the eyes and Chanyeol blushed softly.

Baekhyun was a bit perplexed but suddenly Chanyeol pushed him down, pining Baekhyun under him.

“I know you. If I let this go now, tomorrow you will totally evade any question” he whispered in Baekhyun’s ear and Baekhyun literally whimpered, feeling his shorts becoming too tight.

“Please, Chanyeol, won’t you leave it for now?” he asked voice barely audible, meeting Chanyeol’s eyes and finding there some darkness that he never saw before.

“Is it something important? Have I done something I shouldn’t have?” he asked and Baekhyun felt immediately guilty.

“No, no at all. It’s not your fault or any of this sort” he started but Chanyeol shook his head, leaning his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Then why don’t you want to tell me? Surely it’s something that I’ve done…” he started again and Baekhyun sighed.

He didn’t want to feel Chanyeol bad or think that something happened.

“Promise you won’t laugh?” he asked and Chanyeol nodded, staring him in the eyes.

“I didn’t think you would be coming home tonight, so I was getting ready to… _release_ some needs” he whispered and Chanyeol’s eyes went larger and a small hint of blush colored his cheeks.

“You are telling me that I almost walked in on you _enjoying_ yourself?” he asked back and Baekhyun felt his cheeks catching fire before slowly nodding.

“I had just started so there wasn’t anything to see” he added but Chanyeol wasn’t giving too much attention.

His fingers ran from Baekhyun’s neck down to his torso and stopped at the border of his shorts.

He inhaled sharply and made a move to remove his hand, but Baekhyun stopped him.

“I would appreciate it if you want to continue from where I stopped” he whispered, taking a bit of courage and watching Chanyeol’s eyes getting larger in astonishment.

“Wouldn’t you mind if I touch you?” he asked and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Why would I?” he retorted, perplexed, making Chanyeol blush.

“I don’t know, actually… but I thought that you weren’t interested and didn’t want to force you or speed anything up?” he commented and Baekhyun laughed exasperated.

“I thought the same of you” he added and Chanyeol smiled softly.

“We are two idiots” Chanyeol whispered, leaning in to place a small kiss on Baekhyun’s lips who hummed softly.

“May I, then?” he asked and Baekhyun blushed profusely before nodding shortly.

Chanyeol’s hand ran under Baekhyun’s shirt, caressing his side and torso, while he kissed softly Baekhyun’s neck.

“You don’t know how much I dreamt of this moment” Chanyeol whispered, and when Baekhyun replied with a short _me too_ , Chanyeol slowly sucked a hickey on Baekhyun’s neck, making him moan.

Chanyeol unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it away behind him and helped Baekhyun removing his t-shirt.

His hands were immediately on his torso, caressing and teasing but Baekhyun, despite the initial moment, started to move his hands on Chanyeol’s neck and torso too, making Chanyeol groan and kissing him harder or sucking his neck harder, leaving traces everywhere.

Baekhyun grinded his erection together with Chanyeol’s after a particularly fervent bite on his neck, making Chanyeol moaning and he took advantage of that small moment of weakness to shift them, sitting on top of Chanyeol.

“Wait what?” Chanyeol asked but Baekhyun smirked softly.

“I can be younger but there a lot of things that you don’t know about me, _Yeollie_ ” he whispered in his ear and stretching to take the bottle of lube.

Chanyeol bit his lips, shortly.

“And that would be?” he asked and Baekhyun smiled softly.

“I can show you if you let me” he replied, rubbing their erections together once again and earning himself a groan.

Chanyeol nodded and Baekhyun smirked.

He raised up only to remove his shorts and boxer and then poured a generous amount of lube on his fingers.

“You don’t know how many time I did this, thinking of you” he started circling his entrance with his fingers and he could feel Chanyeol’s stare on him.

He closed his eyes, slowly arching his back and inserting the first finger.

“I have always wondered how…” he started dragging the finger inside and hissing at the friction.

“… How could be if you did this to me. Slowly, without any haste, preparing me with your fingers” he continued, inserting another digit and opening his eyes, staring at Chanyeol who stare back at him, cheeks red and eyes widened in surprise.

“You didn’t expect that, right? You thought I was a good boy who doesn’t think of any of this?” he asked again, inserting a third finger and starting to set a pace inside himself, on Chanyeol’s lap.

“Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea” he concluded but in that moment Chanyeol’s hands went to his side caressing him and supporting him.

“You don’t have to be sorry for being this beautiful and this perfect, Baekhyun” he whispered, kissing his neck and his collarbone, making Baekhyun moan and set an harder pace inside himself.

“Especially not if you are all I’ve ever think of too” he continued, softly pinching Baekhyun’s nipple making him groan, biting his lips and trying to conceive his pleasure.

“And obviously, not when I imagined too how it was to touch you or being touched by you. How was being inside you” he whispered and Baekhyun whimpered.

“Chanyeol…” he moaned deeply and Chanyeol licked Baekhyun’s nipple, stroking his member already leaking precum and earning an indefinite cry that seemed a plea.

“Please, _Yeollie_ …” he whispered, eyes glassy and feeling so closed to his release and Chanyeol caressed him again.

“Give me a sec, I’ll take a…” he started but Baekhyun shook his head.

“Second drawer” he whispered and Chanyeol raised an eyebrow.

“Why…?” he started asking again but Baekhyun hissed at the friction of his fingers exiting himself.

“Ask later, won’t you?” he mumbled and when Chanyeol took his sweet time taking the condom and removing his pants, Baekhyun groaned in frustration.

“Would you fuck me already?” he asked, sitting again on his laps and Chanyeol bit his neck making him whimper.

“So impatient” he replied but in the same moment when he finished rolling on the condom, he gave his okay to Baekhyun.

“Are you sure you are fine with this position?” Chanyeol asked him and Baekhyun huffed shortly.

“Do you prefer another?” he asked back and when Chanyeol shook his head, Baekhyun smiled softly.

“Stop asking and enjoy it” he concluded, guiding Chanyeol’s erection to his entrance.

When he was fine with the angle, he started pulling down, but when the initial stretch was done, he bottomed out, arching his back and biting his lips.

Chanyeol pressed his finger on Baekhyun’s sides, trying to remain still.

“You could do it slower” he commented but Baekhyun was blissed.

“I waited long enough, Chanyeol” he replied softly, waiting shortly to get used to the sensation.

“You’re so thick” he added making Chanyeol blush and caress his sides again.

“And you’re so tight and hot” he whispered and Baekhyun’s cheeks became redder.

“May I move or?” he started but Chanyeol nodded.

Baekhyun didn’t need anything else.

He started moving on Chanyeol, setting a pace, gripping on Chanyeol’s shoulders for easing his movements and Chanyeol helped him sustaining his back and pushing inside him.

Baekhyun arched his back, searching for the right position and when he found it, he bit his lips harder, trying to keep in all the feelings he was having in that moment.

Chanyeol brushed softly Baekhyun’s lips with his fingers.

“Let everything outside, Baekhyun. I’ll take everything of you” he whispered and Baekhyun groaned, setting a pace with the new angle.

Chanyeol kissed his neck and collarbones, shifting to his nipples and when he felt that his own release was near, he started stroking Baekhyun’s member, making him a moaning mess.

“Chanyeol, please, harder” he pleaded, gripping harder on Chanyeol’s shoulders and feeling his orgasm getting nearer.

“Baekhyun” he whispered, stroking him harder and complying to move faster inside him.

They came almost in the same moment, Baekhyun in Chanyeol’s hand and squeezing Chanyeol all the way through his own release.

Baekhyun leant his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder, trying to steady his breathing and whispering a small mantra of _I love you_ s.

Chanyeol took more time to regain his breath and before he could whisper a small “I love you, Baekhyun” too.

They stayed like that for some more minutes and then Chanyeol laughed briefly, attracting Baekhyun perplexed stare.

“I’m too old for this. I can’t do work until late night and sex too” he started making Baekhyun explode in a soundly laugh.

“You’re just out of shape. But don’t worry, now that I know that you enjoy it as I do, you won’t have problems anymore” he added and Chanyeol smiled.

“Sure, if you are able to walk tomorrow” he commented and Baekhyun pouted.

“I’ll show you” Baekhyun added, hissing shortly while pulling out and standing up, walking properly until the bathroom.

“Privileges of being kids” he added grimacing toward Chanyeol who flinched.

“You’re not a kid anymore. And be careful not to slip in the bathroom” he countered, sitting up and going to check on him.

Baekhyun laughed brilliantly.

“Your last sentence is a paradox. You say I’m not a kid but you warn me about not slipping?” he asked and Chanyeol frowned.

“Come on, you know what I mean…” he started and Baekhyun smiled softly, kissing him on the lips.

“Shower?” he asked him and Chanyeol nodded.

Under the warm water they washed together and Chanyeol spoke about his days out of the city, telling him about his work and Baekhyun listened attentively.

He liked when Chanyeol told him about his work.

When they were both washed and dried, they laid together, Chanyeol embracing Baekhyun and keeping him close.

“I love you, Baekhyun” he whispered softly, caressing his hair and Baekhyun smiled.

“It took us a long journey here but, yes, I can finally say that I love you too” he replied snuggling his nose in Chanyeol’s t-shirt.

Chanyeol smiled too.

“And so we ended up like in that Murakami’s novel?” he asked him making Baekhyun raise his stare on him, astonished.

“Yeah, impossible like the two moons in the sky. So, this must be a parallel world?” he continued and Baekhyun blushed deeply.

“You remembered it?” he murmured feeling his cheeks on fire.

He felt like ages ago when he said to Sehun and Chanyeol that his love was impossible like the two moons in the sky, and the idea that Chanyeol not only remembered it but also caught the reference made him hundredth times happier.

“How could I forget? It was a shock knowing that you were in love with someone” he said shortly and Baekhyun shook his head.

“I thought I made it clear several times, actually, that my only love and inspiration were you” Baekhyun mumbled but Chanyeol sighed.

“If you didn’t tell me and I didn’t walk in on you that time, I wouldn’t imagine it” he countered shortly, threading his fingers in Baekhyun’s hair and kissing his forehead and temples.

“And then Sehun told me too. He said that I was blind not to see how in love you were with me” he added and Baekhyun nodded.

“Sehun also told me you were in love with me, but I didn’t believe it” Baekhyun murmured and Chanyeol sighed.

“In the end too, we are both idiots” he commented and Baekhyun smiled softly.

“Speak for yourself. This isn’t the end, and I don’t consider myself an idiot. Like I won’t be old as you are in five years” he joked and Chanyeol pinched softly Baekhyun’s cheek.

“You brat. I’ll remember of this day in five years and we will see” he concluded, kissing the top of his nose.

_Five years later_

Baekhyun entered his shared apartment with Chanyeol, almost throwing everything on the floor, while he tried to balance himself between his work bag, the keyboard, grocery bags and tipping off his shoes.

“Welcome home” Chanyeol announced from the kitchen and getting no reply he went in the entryway to see if everything was fine.

“Hey there” Baekhyun managed to reply, giving him the groceries bags and asking him why he was wearing an apron.

“Cooking for you? It’s our fifth anniversary today. Did you forget?” Chanyeol asked preoccupied and Baekhyun feigned his most surprised face.

“Oh gosh, was it today?” he replied, pushing his voice higher and making Chanyeol frown.

“Obviously no, I didn’t forget about it, _Yeollie_. I ditched all the other teachers _and_ Jondae _and_ Soo plus Jongin especially because I forgot about it being today” he added and Chanyeol beamed at him.

“Perfect because I prepared something special for tonight” Chanyeol explained going toward the kitchen.

Baekhyun dropped off his work bag and the keyboard in the living room, taking off his jacket and following Chanyeol in the kitchen.

“Does it involve food? Because I’m starving” he asked and Chanyeol watched him perplexed.

“Apron usually means cooking? So obviously it involves food. What else?” he enquired back and Baekhyun laughed.

“I don’t know? Maybe you were up to some roleplaying or something like that?” he commented shrugging his shoulder and making Chanyeol laugh too.

“Please, remember me how old are you?” he joked and Baekhyun hugged him from behind while he was stirring something that smelt like kimchi in a pan.

“Twenty-five?” he replied shortly, snuggling his nose on Chanyeol’s t-shirt.

“And we are still at this?” Chanyeol asked him, joke clear in his tone and Baekhyun hugged him tightly.

“I’d do all of this even when I’m in my nineties with you, _Yeollie_ ” he commented and Chanyeol stopped immediately to stir.

There was a small silence and then Chanyeol cleared his throat.

“Let me tell you something, Baek. For how much I appreciate the thought and I find it really romantic, I find it quite hard to think about us in our nineties doing the same things we do these days” he said softly but Baekhyun laughed.

“Five years didn’t make any difference, Chanyeol. Other seventy-five won’t either” he observed making Chanyeol laugh too.

“You are still a brat. We will see in seventy-five years, then” he concluded, turning to face Baekhyun and kissing him softly.


End file.
